Being alone or Being lonely..

Since my childhood, I remember being surrounded by people who loved me and cared for me. I never thought of it as a gift, it all seemed pretty normal to me. But then I came to college, far away from home and those people. I made a few friends, everything was fine again.   

But then I lost them. A deep sense of loneliness started settling in my heart. I felt like there was a void, I felt incomplete. I wanted to be loved again and have those people around me. I was lonely. I became insecure due to losing all my friends. I started feeling that the moment I will start loving someone and get attached to them, they will leave me. I knew I was drowning and I needed something to hold on to. I turned to God. I realized that he is the one person I can love with all my heart and not be afraid that he will leave me. He was mine!

Once I started feeling secure, I realized that loneliness is nothing but a state of mind .Being lonely and being alone are two different things. One can be lonely even in a crowded place. It has nothing to do with people or surroundings.

Being left alone was the best thing that could have happened to me. For the first time in my life I had a chance to know myself. I realized that whenever we are with somebody we are defined in some way by them. It is never “I” in absolute sense. Suddenly I had this sense of freedom that I could do whatever I want and however I want without worrying about what someone would think. I started enjoying my own company and felt complete.

I realized being alone is doing things by yourself, but also doing them for yourself .I learnt how to love myself.Being alone is sitting under a tree for an afternoon and reading a book, and enjoying every single minute of it. The happier I became the more people wanted to be with me. Nobody likes negativity and no one can make you happier than yourself. You have to be happy first to pave path for more happiness to come into your life. Sitting and waiting for happiness is not going to work. Positivity attracts positive things .It’s your choice.

Of course, there are those times when being alone crosses paths with being lonely.  For a brief moment that dull feeling aches in your chest, but it doesn’t stay.

When you’re alone you’re forced to realize all the things you don’t have, sure, but you’re also forced to realize all the things about yourself that you couldn’t when you spent your days memorizing someone else. 

Being alone can be the most empowering experience of your life. If you let the loneliness consume you, you’re going to lose that rare chance to figure yourself out. You can always find company in yourself. Loneliness is going to try to force you to find that company with another person. Everyone has a place in the world, though, and yours shouldn’t be inside someone else.