Sacrifice is a strength ,not weakness !

When people hear the word Sacrifice, they become afraid that something will be taken away from them or they will have to give up something they can't live without. Sacrifice to them means loss, in a world telling us that we can have it all. But I believe true sacrifice is a victory because it requires your free will to give up something or someone you love for something or someone you love more than yourself. It is a gamble, sacrifice won't turn away the pain of loss but it wins the battle against bitterness, the bitterness that dims the light on all that is of true value in our lifes.
      There will be situations when your sacrifice will be perceived as your weakness and people will think you are giving up because you are tired of trying. But you will know in your heart that it is because of your love for someone else that you are willing to stop trying and set them free to chase their dreams. So stay put, sooner or later people will realize what you really did and even if they don't, remember that with great sacrifice comes great reward. As we give, we find that sacrifice brings forth, the blessings of heaven and in the end we learn that it was no sacrifice at all.
                                                                       
                                                 

Are you making the right decisions?

Every moment of our life is a moment of decision making. At each and every step , we have to decide something for the next step. And decisions , decisions leave their impact . Decisions made today, give birth to tomorrow's happiness or sorrow,not just for our self but  for our families and also for the coming generations .

We decide for today on the basis of future.So that we'll be happy in the future.Future is nothing but the result of today's decisions and deeds .If we are satisfied with our decisions today and have the confidence that we made the right decision ,then we can expect happiness in the future.We are always trying to make decisions today for a happy future. Reflect upon your own life.Don't most of your decisions take the future into consideration? And why shouldn't they?Attempting to make one's life happy and smooth is everyone's right.But nobody knows the future.It can only be imagined.Therefore,all the important decisions of life are based on imagination ! Could there possibly be a third path to decision making?
Yes there is .

The basis of all happiness is Dharma . And Dharma resides in a person's heart. So,before every decision do ask your heart if this decision is born out of selfishness or Dharma? Isn't that enough?Instead of the future if we consider Dharma ,won't the future be happier? Decisions based on Dharma are based on compassion and love for everyone , They are based on the five pillars of Dharma-justice,love,knowledge,dedication and patience.

When faced with a dilemma , our mind becomes disturbed and full of uncertainty. That moment of decision making becomes a battle and our mind becomes a battlefield. We make most of the decisions not to solve the problem but only to make our minds and souls calmer. But can we eat while we are running?No. So can a mind which is battling, make a right or worthy decision? In reality , when people make decisions with a calm mind , they make a happy future for themselves but when people make decisions to calm their minds, they are sowing the seeds for a difficult future.

So, next time when you have to make a decision , calm yourself first and ask your heart what will be the right thing to do and you shall have the right answer...

The value of Trust !

My mother is a teacher by profession and that too a strict one .Since my childhood ,i remember her being strict with me always.But as i grew older , she started changing and i wondered why ? Today i have the answer to this question .
She changed to build my future.
The most important thing she taught me is the value of  "trust" . Whether its a night out with friends ,or a party(when i have an exam on the next day) or any other such thing for which the general response is "No".
My mom's answer was one of these -"why are you asking me,it's your life ,you decide " or " yes ,go for it,I trust you completely , i know whatever u decide to do will be right".
No one other than me can understand what a huge impact these two statements had on my life.
It taught me the value of trust . Rules and restrictions can bind kids only as long as they are in front of your eyes but once they leave their home . Once they begin their journey of exploring this world with endless possibilities and no restrictions , the only thing that will stop them from doing things that you don't want them to do is your trust. Because they know in their hearts that you trust them so much and then the love they have for you will stop them from going on the wrong path.
It helped me develop the virtue of responsibility , since i knew that if something goes wrong in the future because of the decisions i make today , it will be my responsibility . I wont be able to blame anyone other than myself . She taught me to live life my way so that when i turn back and look and if i feel there was something wrong somewhere, then i wont regret it blaming someone else for it  . I will in fact learn from it since i made that mistake and we all know that the lessons we learn from our own experiences are much closer to our hearts and stay with us longer than the ones learned from someone else's experience .







As a result i never lied to her , never hid anything from her . I became one of those lucky girls whose best friend is their mom.
 Whenever i ask her a question regarding some decision i have to make , she advises me but she never forces me to abide by that. In the end its always my decision . Maybe that's the reason peer pressure and other temptations could never make me do things that i would regret later . She made me independent .
Of course every parent wants to secure their child's future which often leads them to make decisions on behalf of their kids "all the time" . But what do we know about the future? Not everything is in our hands . You never know what will happen tomorrow . So isn't it better if we try to build our child's character rather than future . We all know people with strong character do great things . They make their own future.They make their own destiny.
I feel proud to say that my mom is the coolest mother i know . She is my idol ,my mentor,my adviser and my best friend.









A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MA !

What is Dharma ?

In Hinduism, Dharma is seen as the cosmic law both upheld by the gods and expressed in right behaviour by humans, including adherence to the social order. In Buddhism (termed dhamma), it is interpreted as universal truth or law, especially as proclaimed by the Buddha. In Jainism, it is conceived both as virtue and as a kind of fundamental substance, the medium of motion


Everybody thinks about Dharma once in a while. Sometimes it is regarding their own Dharma , at other times regarding someone else's Dharma . We often talk and think about the Adharma done to us by others .
By all this i mean to say all of us think about Dharma . But do we actually know what Dharma is?

Dharma is what gives us the knowledge to live in harmony with everyone and everything around us. This is the reason why people feel peaceful at places that are related to Dharma like a temple , a Church etc. isn't this your experience too? Meaning Dharma is what destroys all the struggles within us and gives us peace.

But how is it possible that a person has no struggle with another person? Think about it..where there is love,is there struggle as well? You will say yes..But if you think about it more , you will realise that the time when we are having these struggles , love is forgotten ..and then lots of feelings are awaken like anger,ego etc but not love ! Because when love wakes up , all the struggles,fights and arguments are forgotten.
 If this kind of love is found for everyone ,not just humans but also animals,insects,trees,grass and everything around us . If we have love for something as small as a twig ...then do you think there will be anything that can make us angry?
The love we have for a single person , if we have the same love for everything in this universe it is termed as compassion . Love for everything and everyone and nothing else.
In reality compassion is the essence of every religion . If Dharma is a tree ,then compassion is the root .
But time and again , people forget about this essence. They hold onto some rules and traditions in the name of Dharma and forget about compassion . Then this world gets filled with struggles , jealously,exploitation and anger, meaning full of Adharma .

People fight with each other in the name of Dharma . Do they know what Dharma is ? If they knew what it meant then there was no reason to fight. 
But often we consider the people who put love before other emotions as weak , people who do not sacrifice their relationships for feelings such as ego. But for a moment think about it ...who is stronger? The people who let these emotions overpower them and forget about love and compassion , or the people who are ready to bend to let love prevail ! ...what do you think?

My first love .......Bhopal !

Since the day,i could understand the world around me..The first thing i remember thinking is this "People say when a person dies, he/she goes to heaven , but here i was fully alive and still in heaven ".

 

It was more beautiful than the heaven i saw in mythological TV shows i use to watch with my grandpa..It was my city, my hometown ,my first love ...Bhopal !...i feel lucky to be born in a city i consider as one of the best cities of the world to settle in.

Bhopal is the capital of Madhya Pradesh which is called the heart of India ,which it truly is, and i am going to tell you why. Our whole body is connected to our heart via blood , same way Bhopal is connected to every part of India ,in the sense that it combines the traditions,cultures,languages,food, lifestyles etc. of East,West,North and South India. People often tell me that we (bhopalies) have no specific language , culture,food etc. then why do i love it so much? But the answer lies in their question , living in Bhopal is living "the dream".

It's the dream our ancestors had for us , the dream of one nation -INDIA , where there will be no discrimination based on culture, region etc. Bhopal is exactly that , no one who comes to Bhopal is an outsider .No matter what their cultural background is,it is also a culture of Bhopal . Everyone is welcome !

Bhopal is truly the heart in the sense that all it offers love to anyone who comes here .We are one big family. If you ever come to Bhopal , you will find that people from almost every region of India live here together in harmony ,because there is no concept of being a "localite" since almost nothing here is local. 

Bhopal is the essence of India , a mixture so pure that you wont realize its a mixture.

Bhopali culture is such that both Hindus and Muslims visit each other on their respective festivals to greet and exchange sweets(Wikipedia says so,not just me ). Every festival is celebrated here with equal vigour and spirit.

If i were to decide what to do with Bhopal , i would change nothing here .

It's a perfect combination of a metro city and a countryside.Its neither too congested,polluted,dirty, full of traffic,terrorism or crime like a big city. Nor is it lacking in essential facilities like a village. It has reputed schools,industries,colleges, hospitals,malls etc.It's neither too big so as to get lost somewhere nor too small to stop you from exploring. So you can actually just take your bike and roam around anywhere you like without the fear of getting lost ,since you know you can always find your way back home (I actually did that).Plus it is abundant in natural beauty like lakes,rivers,streams,hills,sunset points,waterfalls,grasslands.

 It is one of the greenest cities of India and is also called "The city of lakes" having more than 15 small and big lakes. It has a monsoon like weather most of the time which gives the feeling of living on a hill station . The roads of bhopal are lined on both sides by trees even in the bussiest areas of the city.

A view from the dashboard :

Bhopal lies in the West Central Railway Zone. Considering both North-South and East-West train routes, it is one of the most rail connected cities in India. It is the only city in the world which has 2 UN identified heritage sites - Sanchi(The place is one of the oldest stone structures of India and it edifies Buddhism in India over 2000 years) 

 Bhimbetka(They have evidence of dwellings of pre-historic man during the Paleolithic era.)..

Bhimbetka pre-historic rock cave painting near Bhopal include 500 sandstone caves and shelters. These are dated to range from 12,000 years ago tochalcolithic era of human history. They are a UNESCO World Heritage site

It has the worlds highest shivling ,in the temple called Bhojeshwar which was built in the 10th century

(a wonder in itself).Legends say that it was built by the Pandavs.

The biggest attraction of Bhopal is it's lakes ,specifically the upper lake which has an area of 360km2. It extends between 2 cities. You can actually look at the horizon and get the thrill of looking at a sea (while avoiding disasters like tsunami) . The same lake has so many forms.

Afternoon :

Sunset :

On one shore of the lake is van vihar (the city's zoo) located in natural surroundings where people often go for early morning bicycle rides which is a wonderful experience because you can actually see the whole wildlife and nature waking up and coming to life .

 

A leopard in van vihar in bhopal 

Then for the ladies,there are local markets where you can buy designer clothes at half the price as compared to the malls. Also these markets have everything from a teaspoon to clothes to foot wares to eatables and what not .

People of Bhopal love picnics, so as soon as there's a holiday everyone is on the go. People here actually go looking for a quite place somewhere in the forest near some brook. It is never pre-decided where we are going .That makes it even more fun.

Picnic spots in wilderness :

In short , it's a wonderful place to live and also to visit .No matter what kind of a person you are, there is something for everyone in Bhopal. If you like adventures ,there are water sports, hiking trips etc for you here.

If you are a person who likes solitude and peace ,there are wonderful coffee shops on hilltops beside the lake where you can relax and sip your coffee while enjoying the beauty of nature.

If you are an art lover, there are lots of Art theaters in Bhopal like Bharat bhawan which is a centre for performing and visual arts.

 If you are a science lover Bhopal has the Regional Science Center which is a science museum located on the picturesque Shyamala Hills. This centre houses about 300 science exhibits in ‘Invention’ and ‘Fun Science’ galleries. ‘Taramandal’ and Planetarium at the centre helps the students and enthusiasts study the astral and mysterious world of stars, galaxies and the universe. Stargazing sessions are organized at the planetarium for those who want to have a real close view of these luminous bodies.If you are a history lover ,then there is the Sanchi Stupa,Bhimbetka,Taz-ul-Masajid(which is one of the largest mosque in India).

So if you ever get a chance ,do visit Bhopal "The city of lakes ".

ARE YOU SLEEPING?...IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP...!

Saints say that you must learn from your own experiences. But we feel that the experiences of the ignorant have no value. We say, “What can be learnt from our experiences when we ourselves are unaware? What is the use of such consolation? We are so deluded that we keep falling into the same pit! Therefore, we must learn from the experiences of saints alone.”

Learn from Your Experiences

Saints say that one must first understand what it means to learn from one’s own experience. Which state will give you peace and joy, and which state will lead to disquietude and pain - this you must learn from your own experience. Remain aware of your experiences.

People are not sensitive towards their experiences. They do not remain aware and therefore miss learning from them. So, the only solution that remains for them is to believe in what others say, or what the books say. But the others speak of their own experiences. If your circumstances and your inner state do not match with theirs, then their words do not benefit you and may sometimes even prove harmful.

One must study the scriptures keeping in mind who has given those instructions to whom, when and where. Otherwise that borrowed information will not be beneficial. What is needed is understanding, not just blind imitation. The most important lessons are the ones learnt from one’s own life. And those lessons can be learnt only when you remain aware of your experiences.

Why are Mistakes Repeated?

Even if you falter a thousand times, you can still learn from your mistakes. When the same error is repeated again and again, it shows that you have not learnt from it. If you were pained by it, you would never repeat it. But if you do not experience the pain, then it is bound to happen again.

You say that you are so deluded that you keep falling in the same pit again and again. This only means that you have never felt that it is a pit. Someone else told you that it was a pit and you believed it. The Great Ones exclaimed that these were pits, and you started parroting them.

Saints may call it a pit but do you see it as one? Within your heart, you wish to go back into that pit again. The day you realise that it is a pit, you will stop falling into it.

Transformation Cannot be Borrowed

Without changing your beliefs, if you blindly start living the words of the Enlightened Ones, you will realise that your attraction for the pit has not reduced. You still have the yearning for sensual pleasures and will also feel guilty about it. Gradually hypocrisy and deceit will set in.

When you do not see cigarette smoking as causing spiritual, physical, and emotional harm, you cannot stop the desire for it. Even after being informed of its ill-effects, if you are not convinced, the desire remains. And in addition a feeling of guilt will also develop resulting in deceit, fear and finally the hypocrisy of smoking. Trying to change based on what others say, without changing one’s beliefs will result in a split personality.

Your Own Faith is Needed

You will experience a transformation within yourself only if you keep checking your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and experiences. Once a saint was asked, “How can one save oneself from vices?” He replied, “The day you see them as vices, you will become free from them.” The one whose house is on fire will not ask, ‘how can I escape?’ He will not wait to learn about good conduct or rules. He will take a leap and jump out.

By remaining aware of your own experiences, your ignorance and stupidity will be revealed. The first ray of knowledge dawns upon you. Once you see it as a pit, true efforts to avert falling into it begin. You may put in a ton of effort and read millions of books. It will not help. It should become your understanding. You may have the best of books and yet, their best lessons will not be able to make you the best. Awareness of your own experiences will make you vigilant.

Wake Up

Life teaches it all. It may just be that you do not wish to understand. Life teaches you big lessons. You need to be awakened. You are sleeping. Your concepts need to be challenged. Your beliefs need to be broken. You just need to wake up.

Imagine someone asleep, snuggled in a cosy blanket, enjoying the cool morning breeze and a sweet dream. In such a condition, he will not like it if you try to wake him up, even though he himself may have asked you to do so earlier. Because he likes sleeping, he likes dreaming! But in unconsciousness, there is no progress, the person remains in the same place where he has been.

There is only one solution for a dreaming person - to wake up. Once he wakes up, his eyes will open and he will see the truth with his own eyes. Your feeling that you are religious is also a dream. Even if you become an ascetic, that too will be a dream alone because your eyes have not opened. Renunciation, vows, discipline, charity whatever you do they will all be a dream. Wake up and look with your own eyes! True religion begins here - with seeing, seeing in the right way and with the right belief. This awakening is important. You can wake up because you are not dead, you are just sleeping. The one who has gone astray can return to the right course. The one who has fallen can get up. The one who is capable of going to sleep is capable of waking up too. Your sleep announces your capacity to wake up.

Live Wisely

Therefore, the first thing to be done is to wake up. Cultivate awareness of your own experiences. Turn your eyes from the external events to the internal changes. Establish the right relation between the cause and the effect. Live life wisely. Live with awareness. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What do I want? Give up the excuses of fate, karma, or time and accept reality. Do more of what gives happiness, and let go of that which makes you suffer. If anger gives you pain, give up anger. If meditation gives you happiness, increase meditation. Direct the energy used in anger to meditation. With this, a transformation will happen.

If you can realize having a headache or stomach ache, why can’t you recognize the suffering of your soul?  Are you in such deep slumber that you are not even able to realize the pain? No, you are not even that sleepy. It is a different matter that you do not wish to recognize the pain.

Whatever happens in your life, know it with absolute awareness. Search for the cause of suffering. In the diagnosis alone lies the remedy. You shall find the cause of suffering within yourself. And on finding the cause, it will fall off. You will become free from it! You just need to wake up! Do not ask for a list of what you should do or what you should not. Seek awakening. Once you wake up, the worthless will slip away and what is valuable will stay.

-borrowed from the Speaking tree by Gurudev Rakeshbhai..

I thought about it and i realized that yes this happens. There have been times when i felt i was in a hopeless situation and i didn't know why?

I talked to people who i believe are wiser than me,who have been through similar situations.

I got a lot of advice which was mostly the same.People told me that my beliefs were wrong,that i needed to change my perspective and see that i was being fooled. I tried so hard ,my brain was listening to me but my heart wasn't . My beliefs were still intact. After a point of time ,there came a limit and i started doubting my own beliefs. Was i really being blind to what was happening with me? Could it be true that i was in fact being manipulated?.. I decided at last , that for once i will listen to these people and do as they say. It was very hard for me ,nevertheless i did it. 

Few months passed and some of these people started having new experiences that were similar to mine. I saw them changing, their views and opinions changing. And now when i asked the same question , they had totally different answers. I asked one of them,why so? She said-because she never had an experience like that before and now she knows how it feels to be in my place! 

It made me think , does this mean what i did after listening to these people was wrong?

Now these people have a different opinion which is totally opposite of the earlier one.

But then i realized, yes, i did listen to what these people had to say to me . But i still couldn't follow it wholeheartedly because i believed otherwise. So, today i m happy that i followed my heart and learned from my own experience because the lessons i learned belong to me. Hence i will never forget it.

Moreover, i will never regret doing what i did. I held on for as long as was possible.My beliefs were broken because of it but it was all for good. Now i have a better understanding of the world and the people in it.Also it made me realize who are the people who actually care about me and will stay with me even when i am not really listening to them or their advices.

So,as it turns out, following the heart wasn't all bad...:-)

This poem summarizes it all

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost . . . I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

by Portia Nelson from the book There's A Hole in My Sidewalk.